Dating and Relationship

Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

You may come to the point where you’ve decided that your relationship no longer works, problems cannot be resolved and you want to end your marriage.

There are many questions about what the next step is and where to go from here. Working out these questions ahead of time with your partner can save a lot of time, expense and pain for both of you.

1. Create a plan before you discuss this with your partner. Decide what ground you’re willing to give in negotiations, like who will keep the house, who will move out, how to divide the assets, etc. Thinking about these things ahead of time will help you stay focused and manage the situation better.

2. Expect emotional fallout from your partner once you break the news. Presuming you know your partner extremely well, you probably have a good idea how she will react. Hopefully she will know this is coming so it won’t be a complete surprise. Still, the fact that you’ve put thought into it and created a plan can be a bit disconcerting to your partner.

3. Let your partner fully digest the information (be respectful and let him take some time to process, but not too long). Then make time to sit down together and rationally discuss the dissolution plan. It is mutually beneficial to work this out in advance of hiring legal counsel, because it becomes extremely costly once lawyers get involved.

4. Decide how you will both tell the children. Decide, if possible, such issues as who the children will live with, who will pay child support, how often the noncustodial parent will visit. Emphasize to the children that this is not their fault, and privately contain any disagreements between you and your partner. Read the rest of this entry »

Many young people easily get caught up in the romantic aspects of a relationship and want to make a formal commitment through marriage. Unfortunately, young men aren’t always prepared for the responsibilities and stress that sometimes come with marriage. There are several risks of getting married too young, and sadly, this choice can end in divorce.

Financial Stability

One of the main causes for problems and arguments in a marriage is financial stress. Often, men don’t reach financial stability until their late 20s or early 30s.

If a man gets married at a young age and before he can handle the financial responsibilities of marriage and a family, it may put stress on the relationship. He may also still be searching for a career path; the stress that comes with not being established professionally could also have a negative effect on the marriage.

Experience

Sometimes when a couple marries too young, they miss out on experiences that other young people have that enhance their lives. One of the risks of a man marrying too young is realizing at a later age that he didn’t have the chance to gain life experience.

He may decide he wants to have these experiences after he’s married, when it’s no longer appropriate. For example, if he wanted to travel extensively before marriage and didn’t have the opportunity, he may come to regret his decision and become unhappy in the marriage.

Maturity

Most people mature as they age, due to life experiences that teach them to cope with various situations and challenges. If a man marries too early, there’s a chance he is not mature enough to handle the challenges and difficulties that can happen in a marriage.

For example, the loss of a job or an unexpected pregnancy can be difficult situations to deal with. If a man isn’t mature enough to handle these situations, it could increase the stress and negativity in the relationship.

Raising children is also very demanding, and a certain amount of maturity is necessary for the benefit of the children. A man who hasn’t fully matured may find parenting more difficult and stressful than someone who is prepared to be a father.

Infidelity

Many men have the opportunity to date various women before marriage, which helps them decide what they want in a partner and in a relationship.

If a man marries young, he may realize later on in the marriage that he didn’t gain enough dating experience, and if he is unhappy in his marriage, it could lead to infidelity. If his friends are still single and dating, this may cause feelings of dissatisfaction with his own situation.

There are many places throughout the world that still encourage young girls to get married. Some of these girls are as young as 9, sometimes even younger.

There are several disadvantages to girls of this age getting married to older men. They can suffer many emotional and physical effects from getting married so early in life.

Physical Effects

A young girl who gets married and begins to produce children is likely to develop physical problems. They can develop bone problems because the unborn child is taking all of the nutrients that should be going to the young mother who has not yet finished growing.

She also can develop problems with her reproductive system by having children so early. Additionally, since many of these husbands are older and have been sexually active, these young girls also have a high risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease from their husband.

Domestic Violence

These young wives also are at risk for becoming victims of domestic violence. Often they are looked upon as property and are not treated well. If they refuse to have sex with their husband or do not perform one of their household duties correctly, they run the risk of their husband physically disciplining them.

The girls have no right to report their husband to the police or complain when it happens; they must accept their fate and do the best they can.

Lack of Education

Because they are married so young, these girls are taken out of school to perform domestic duties. They are not allowed to read books or educate themselves. This is a tragedy because everyone should have the right to pursue an education if they desire to do so. By getting married so young, they are essentially trapped in a hopeless situation.

Personal Maturity

Maturity is something that is essential to make a marriage work. If one or both parties are not mature enough to be married, it will cause great strife within the marriage and lead to other problems like the ones listed above.

When a man walks down the aisle and takes a woman’s hand, he gains not just a wife but also an assortment of responsibilities. These responsibilities, both legal and ethical, help to ensure the health and sanctity of marriage and the possibility of a successful union.

Fidelity

One of the most obvious responsibilities of a married man is to remain faithful to his wife. A married man must, as he pledge, keep himself only to his wife in order to fulfill this responsibility.

While most commonly associated with sexual fidelity, many also argue that married men should also remain emotionally faithful by not forming romantic attachments with other women.

Financial Support

Though in many households both men and women now work, it is still often the responsibility of a married man to provide at least a modicum of financial support. Married men must work for themselves as well as their wives, supporting the household either as the sole provider or as the back up supporter should the wife lose her job.

Emotional Support

Husbands also serve as emotional supports to their wives, being there should they need them in times of joy and upset. Married men need to be responsive to their wives needs and remain understanding when their wives go through periods of emotional difficulty, making it easier for the women to handle these periods.

Co-parenting

When marriages result in children, husbands need to actively participate in parenting the children as part of their responsibilities. He needs to be a solid role model, get in involved with childcare decisions and activities as well as other matters concerning the children and the family as a whole.

Commitment

Married men have a responsibility to remain committed to their spouses, staying with them in times of difficulty just as they are with them in times of happiness. This responsibility to remain committed includes, as they say in their vows, sticking with their wives in both sickness and in health and during times of financial health and financial struggle.